I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
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I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
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If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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