Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize