so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
3pm strippers are depressing
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
