Taylor Swift is so right about you.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Green mimosas i think yes
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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