Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
please come you make the beer taste better
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
