So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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