You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
