sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
