using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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