so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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