i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
