Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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