someone threw a dead crab at me
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
