Tell her she can't have a vagina
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
