The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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