I must be too annoying 4 u.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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