you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
