My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
