I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
