Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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