i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
