last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
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This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize