the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.