Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.