Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
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