Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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