if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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