so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
