loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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