go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
