She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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