They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
