So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
