You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dignity is for republicans.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
