physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
