Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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