Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
