I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
