Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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