glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
