Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
