My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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