How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
