so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
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He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
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He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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