connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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