What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
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