I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
