I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
