hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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