come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
