it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
