Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
