I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
