I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
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She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
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You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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