we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
