she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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