But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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