the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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