Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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