The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize