Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
