doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
