Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
