I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
