No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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