thus making me awesome and them whores
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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