I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
