I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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