I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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