after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
