just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
