apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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